“Don’t Marry Out of Desperation,” Chimamanda Adichie Advises Young Women

Renowned Nigerian author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, has offered a poignant piece of advice to young women, urging them to exercise caution and intentionality in choosing a life partner rather than succumbing to desperation or societal pressure. Adichie’s counsel, delivered at a recent student event, emphasizes the profound and lasting impact of such a pivotal decision on one’s life trajectory.

The 47-year-old literary icon, author of internationally acclaimed novels like Half of a Yellow Sun and Americanah, stressed the importance of choosing wisely. “It’s really important who you choose. It’s really important. Young women, choose wisely,” Adichie reportedly said. “Sometimes as young women, you can tell that the person you’re with is not really a good person, but you’re desperate to get married. You’re desperate to have somebody who’s your partner. Don’t settle. Be very careful who you choose.”

Adichie, who has been married to Nigerian doctor Ivara Esege since 2009, drew from her personal experience to reinforce her message. “The person you choose as your life partner will make a huge difference in your life. If you choose somebody who’s kind, supportive, it will make all the difference. So I can tell you that I chose well, there are some good men left.”

Her advice resonates deeply with themes she has often explored in her feminist writings and public discourse, which advocate for women’s self-worth, autonomy, and the pursuit of individual fulfillment beyond traditional societal expectations. She has consistently challenged the pressure placed on young women to prioritize marriage above all else, arguing that it can lead to compromising personal happiness and settling for unhealthy relationships.

Adichie’s remarks quickly garnered significant attention, particularly among young Nigerian women navigating complex social landscapes and immense pressure to marry at a certain age. Many social media users echoed her sentiments, sharing personal stories that underscored the truth in her caution against desperation.

The celebrated writer further encouraged women to cultivate their own sense of self-fulfillment and pursue their passions unapologetically. Her timeless advice serves as a powerful reminder for young women to prioritize their well-being and make life-altering decisions based on careful consideration, self-respect, and genuine compatibility.